5 Tips for Preparing Your Older Child for the New Baby

Congratulations, you’re expecting another baby but like most moms I speak to you may be worried about how your first bundle of joy will react to the having a younger sibling. I will let you in on an insider pediatrician tip - if your oldest is under age 4, chances are they won’t even remember a time growing up when they were an only child. And mom there is more than enough love to go around for the whole family. Check out this guest blog for some really important tips to help make the transition to becoming a big sibling smoother and less stressful.

You’re excited to be pregnant again but you’re also anxious about how your older child will react to his new brother or sister. It’s normal to be nervous wondering if your older one will get jealous of the baby or how they will get along. It’s important to prepare your child for the new baby as this will determine the way your child behaves towards his baby brother or sister. It will also help to ease your child’s fear of losing you and reassure him of your unconditional love.

5 Tips to Prepare Your Older Child for the New Baby

1. Talk to your child about the baby

The first step in preparing your child for a new baby brother or sister is to sit down and have an honest family discussion. Use age-appropriate terms to explain how the baby is growing and what to expect over the next few months. Use picture books or watch videos that will help your child understand his new role. It’s also important for your child to understand that he won’t be able to play with the baby right away. Your child is likely to have mixed feelings about the baby so ask gentle probing questions to understand and help them overcome any negative emotions.

2. Involve your child in prepping for the baby

You are the center of your child’s world which means that sharing you can be scary and unsettling. Many children feel that they will be replaced by the new baby which is why it is important to involve your child in preps for the baby. Involve your child as much as possible – from picking out the furniture, toys and clothes for the baby to choosing the color scheme for the nursery. You can also ask him to draw pictures of himself and the baby and decorate the nursery with these drawings. This will help ease the transition from being an only child to the oldest child.

3. Encourage your child's connection to the baby

Encourage your child to have a connection with the baby – instead of talking about “the baby”, use terms like “our baby” or “your baby”. This will help to reduce feelings of displacement and jealousy and instead help instill love and protectiveness. The concept of a new baby can be abstract and confusing for a young child. You can help them understand this by letting them feel the baby kick or taking them with you for your doctor’s appointment so that they can hear the baby’s heartbeat. Simple gestures like saying good night to the baby when they say good night to you can also help foster family bonds long before the baby arrives.

4. Prepare your child for the constant crying

Images of babies will help your child see his future brother or sister as cute and cuddly but it’s equally important to prepare him for reality, which is lots and lots of crying! Explain to your child that all babies cry a lot and need plenty of care and attention. You can also show your child videos of other babies crying to help him understand what it will be like to have a newborn in the house. You can use a doll to show your child how you will need to change the baby’s diapers. If your child is old enough, you can even involve him in the process.

5. Enlist the help of your friends and family

Children often have difficulty articulating their feelings which makes it tougher for them to deal with change. While it is important to talk to your child about these changes, it is equally important to listen to what he has to say and acknowledge his feelings. You can also ask your friends and family to help ease your child’s fears. They can emphasize all the good things that the baby will bring to the family including more love and happiness. This will also help your child accept the baby as a member of the family.

Preparing your child for the new baby will also help him learn how to cope with change in a positive manner. This will help your child learn important skills like building resilience which will improve his overall growth and development. Resilience is especially important for kids as it helps them overcome the stress from issues like moving to a new school or dealing with bullies. When preparing your child for the new baby, you can use a doll to demonstrate how he should be gentle with the baby. Praise him every time he gets it right so that he learns how to show affection for “his baby”. Children need time to learn soft touches so you will need to be patient and give him time to acquire this skill. Above all, make a big fuss over how he is going to be an “older brother” – as this will help him realize that it’s not all about the baby and that he is still an important part of the family.

Author’s Bio: Anita Fernandes has been writing extensively on health and wellness for over a decade. She has expertise in nutrition, fitness, public health, and weight loss and has contributed content to a variety of leading digital health publishers. Anita has a unique perspective on healthy living and lifestyle, as she has battled and overcome eating disorders and mental health issues. She shares her experiences in an effort to help others build resilience and overcome the problems that can sometimes seem insurmountable.